help!

everything else

help!

Postby Euro on Tue Apr 08, 2008 5:23 pm

what should i do? i never had a girlfriend. I never had sex. Never saw a naked woman in real life. i´m 26 years old and feel totally sad because of that. girls don´t want have anything to do with me I guess. don´t know why. i feel sad
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Postby robot on Tue Apr 08, 2008 8:33 pm

find some hobbies.
get a dog.
a cat.
whatever.

i dont think you should watch porn, it'll only make things harder for you.
oh well.
what the fuck do i know. i'm useless at giving good advice, i cant get my own life straight :?
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Postby hardware on Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:30 am

If you want to be with a woman you really only need one thing, and that is confidence in yourself. You won't get any woman worth having if you aren't happy with who you are.

So, is your image of yourself good or bad? If you don't like yourself then that is where you must start.

If you are happy with who you are then put yourself out in society where you can meet plenty of women. Don't go out with the idea that you're meeting them for sex. Go with the idea of meeting people who you can have a good time with.

Eventually you'll find an attractive woman who finds you attractive as well.
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Ask Priapus

Postby Priapus on Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:29 pm

Euro, look no further than this thread for the cure to all you're problems.

Consider first the bunnies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. But they get all the beautiful eurobabes to fuck-for-free.

I heard Robotron used to be loser with a capital L. Then he tore himself away from his computer one day, moved to the big city and decided to get a real life. So he shaved off all his bodily hair, injected his prostrate with leporine growth hormone and donned a rabbit costume. Long hours at the disco taking candid photos of the girls soon paid off, and he's been fucking like a bunny with a capital B ever since.

As for myself, three words: Purity of Essence. After first making love to a woman, I felt a profound feeling of emptiness. I came to the realization that this was due to the loss of precious bodily fluid that I had experienced. So I stopped drinking tap water and now consume only pure grain alcohol and raw oysters. I dont shun the company of women, but I do deny them my essence rare.

PoE

But if you're serious, Euro, dont despair, you're still quite young and your case is not as unusual as you may think. I was a relatively late bloomer myself and thought I'd never have a real girlfriend. (The fact that I was raped at 14 by a gang of viscous Japanese schoolgirls on the It's-a-Small-Small-World ride at Dineyland didn't make it any easier for me to trust women.)

*First of all, dont go by the beauty and talents of the girls you see here. It's largely smoke-and-mirrors. Dont be intimidated, women are all the same under the make-up and & sexy outfits. Well not all the same -- God forbid! -- but i think you know what i mean. They're human beings, who need to be loved and are capable of the tenderest of feelings.
*So, secondly, try not to set your sights too high. Women are not simply objects of aesthetic veneration, despite most of the talk around here. Water tends to seek it's own level, but there's no rational accounting for physical attraction. Go for the feelings not the looks, and the right girl for serious love will come along.
*Third, and this is the best practical advice I have: Go for the older women! It's well known that they dont need to be impressed and are willing to teach the beginner. Young lookers are so full of themselves and can be real bitches. There's a lot to be said for maturity.
*Fourth: Travel and see the world! Why not take a trip to someplace where the women are known to be promiscuous. I didn't get laid til I left my hometown and traveled abroad. The foreign environment allowed me to loosen up and get over my inhibitions. And the women were attracted to the innocent & strange spring chicken I once was. (Now I'm just stange & old.)
*Fifth: Cultivate you're own garden and you'll find inner resources of self-confidence. As Hardware indicated, 'tis the amour-propre that is the prerequisite for genuine love of others.
*Sixth, and you may not like the idea, but find yourself a nice prostitute. It's the tried and true method. There are plenty of descent working girls in Europe, and there's little emotional risk involved. You're apt to have a rather unfulfilling experience at best, but it does break the ice physically and there's a lot to be said for that. Get the purely sexual part under your belt and that wont be a stumbling block later on. You'll have unleashed the studly stud that's been the monkey on your back all these years.
*Lastly, and you may not like this at all, but what about a monastery? Go to one of those nice Belgian resorts where they brew the good ale and make those great cheeses. Get fat and watch a lot of porn in your cell.

Dont despair, young fellow, and dont pay too much attention to the inane banter you read on porn forums. We're all by definition a bunch of wankers and preverts. There's a lot of bullshit, exaggerations and lies floating around in these cesspools. [I'm no authority on porn forums, but this has got to be one of the better places for those whose interests go beyond a simple wang-bang-thankyou-hand! "How 'bout a cigarette baby? Wank you very much, self."]

If this wasn't serious, but one of management's practical jokes, i've played the fool once again, but that's the story of my life anyhoo.

See below to learn how to become more like robot.
Attachments
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3) Don furry pelt.
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reality_rabbits_skin1.gif
2) With sharp utensil make incisions and pull apart as shown.
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1) Grab rabbit by scruff of neck
120_graphic_lab_rabbit1_flyingbunny.jpg (13.18 KiB) Viewed 232 times
Last edited by Priapus on Thu Apr 10, 2008 6:39 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby robot on Wed Apr 09, 2008 8:52 pm

is it me or did i just land myself a fan???

anyway.
i think hardware gave you a really good piece of advice here.
easier said than done, though :wink:

priapus also has some ideas about the subject, although it's drowned in strange stuff :)
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Postby svin_renigoth on Wed Apr 09, 2008 8:54 pm

^
LOL
:lol:
I love it!
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Postby Priapus on Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:51 pm

robot wrote:is it me or did i just land myself a fan???

anyway.
i think hardware gave you a really good piece of advice here.
easier said than done, though :wink:

priapus also has some ideas about the subject, although it's drowned in strange stuff :)


A fan? Dont let your self-image become too exalted, mein hare. I reserve my fanning for eurogirlz, the Celtics and the Red Sox. And every four years certain World Cup sides. Oh, and I also have the world's largest collection of undergarments from world-class female figure skaters.
I'm no longer much of an active rock fan, but back in the day . . .

As the Wolf said to the junkyard bitch, "Some people have character and some people are characters."

Yeah, drowned in ectoplasm and ephemeral emissions.

By the way folks, dont discard meat and viscera after skinning rabbit. Hassenpfeffer's good eatin'!
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Postby Euro on Thu Apr 10, 2008 7:08 pm

hardware wrote:If you want to be with a woman you really only need one thing, and that is confidence in yourself. You won't get any woman worth having if you aren't happy with who you are.

So, is your image of yourself good or bad? If you don't like yourself then that is where you must start.

If you are happy with who you are then put yourself out in society where you can meet plenty of women. Don't go out with the idea that you're meeting them for sex. Go with the idea of meeting people who you can have a good time with.

Eventually you'll find an attractive woman who finds you attractive as well.


Wow. Thank you very much for your great advice. You sound so easy. But it´s not so easy for me. I also don´t think that I´m the problem. I like who I am. Really. I make music and read a lot books and I love very much things in and about life. But I guess that girls want "to much" - I think that girls want guys that learned very much about love, sex and girls. They don´t like guys like me. Guys that know shit about love and sex. What do I know? Never had love and sex with girls. Not one person loved me till today in my life and I´m 26 years now. Sad, right? But what should do? I will drink later a beer. I get to melancholic sometimes. Thats why I make electronic music (IDM). IDM is the style like Autechre and Aphex Twin. But of course I´m not as good as them. I sound shit. But I can get better. On the other side. make it for myself and so long I like it, its good. But I don´t want to speak about that. Girls are the problem in my life. What should I do? I want to learn, so tell me what to do! Please...
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Postby hardware on Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:21 pm

You don't sound confident to me, euro.

You think all women "want guys that learned very much about love, sex and girls." If that were true none of us would ever get laid. Everybody starts off a virgin, after all.

No, most women want guys that know themselves, that like themselves and are confident in their abilities. Everything else is negotiable.

You want me to tell you what to do?

OK, relax. Adopt the attitude that you know sex will happen when the right woman comes along. If the woman you're talking to is the right one it's already a done deal. No sweat. If she's not the right one then what's the point in getting upset about it?

Relax.
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Postby Priapus on Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:37 pm

Euro, go easy on yourself, for christ's sake. Some of us are starting to get worried about you. Women are the problem for most thinking, caring men. It's part of the shit we have to deal in our miserable, insignificant existence on this planet (or elsewhere).

And hey, i see you have excellent taste in music -- I had a glance at some of your some of your other posts. I was a student in Germany back in '81-'82 (yes, i'm a geezer -- but not an old-timer, yet.) It was the highpoint of the Deutsche Neue Welle, and i guess i was sort of punked out back then. Lot's of cool bands on the scene: DAF, Ideal, Abwarts, SPK, Mania D/Malaria, HansaPlast, etc. I was a huge Joy Division fan -- Ian Curtis was a big influence on my formation. Most young people in the states today dont even have a clue -- for them, i suppose it's Kurt Cobain who's had a similar impact. Well, i wont go on about music & my experience in Germany, but i'd be happy to pick up the discussion later here or better back on one of your threads dedicted to the topic. It's hard to keep this stuff all sorted out.

Yeah, that kind of music can be a kind of solace to the tormented soul, but dont get consumed by the doom & gloom. Art is art and Life is life. "Here are the young men with weights on their shoulders . . ."

"April is the cruelest month" said the poet. Springtime can be brutal when everyone begins to cheer up about the weather, the winter clothes start to come off the ladies, your friends are falling in love, the children are playing outside your window . . . Believe me, i know what depression is. And believe me, this too shall pass!
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Postby Xenomorgue on Sat Apr 12, 2008 3:17 am

In the Western world a system of partner choice has developed over the last century or so, that is actually a combination of several ideals:
* romantic love (instead of marriage for economic purposes),
* equality of the genders (instead of the male courting the female of his choice),
* freedom of choice (no arrangement by e.g. parents)
* the spontaneous first meeting (love at first sight in a discotheque).

To let this system work in practice, in the west young people of both genders are given nearly unlimited freedom to see and meet each other, e.g. at school, university, sporting events, hobby clubs, bars, discotheques, rock concerts, cinemas, shopping malls etc.

Obviously the idea is that for each young individual participating in this dating game, there will be --over an extended period-- so many chance meetings with potential partners that the chance of success is close to 100 percent.

Of course the reality is rather different, for reasons too diverse and too numerous to list here. Fact is, that the number of (young) people who are single and who are probably going to stay single, is steadily on the rise in Europe. It is an important demographic shift. In the Netherlands already more and more appartments for singles are being built.

Some people will argue that these modern-day singles are very different from those of previous generations, because each individual now can have an extensive social network of friends with whom he/she can communicate (GSM, SMS, email, Hyves). However, studies show that the number of people who feel lonely is also on the rise in Europe.
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Postby Euro on Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:57 pm

My favourite song is "Decades" from Joy Division. So much stuff you all wrote. Hmm. Where I should begin? I don´t know. But I want to tell you that I had read everything you all wrote. German language would be probably better for me because I understand / write very weak "english". But what I wanted to say is, that I´m to shy. I´m ok. Its not a problem in a real big dimension. Its more, that I´m just very very very shy and I not even can say "Hello" to a girl I like or find attractive. I´m not a sex-monster like all this guys here on the board. You know, I like naked woman, but I´m not one of this guys that do things like - hmm - i don´t know, this extreme sex technics and stuff ya know. I just would like to have 1 time sex so I know what sex is and how it feels. But I don´t want to make sex with an bitch for money. I don´t like bitches, never would fuck with them. They do it with everyone and their asses and pussys are full of sperm of other guys! Ugly! How I could fuck a woman like that??!!! How? No, not for 50 dollar I would fuck a bitch. Normal, healthy sex with a normal woman between 18 and 28 would be cool for me. A model... hm , ok why not, but all other beautiful girls also could maybe have a chance to get sex with me, but they should be a nice person. I don´t like girls that have nasty personalitys. They should be a bit shy. That would be cool. I mean, a girl like Simone Peach, wow, beautiful, but I would turn red in face when she would suddenly be naked in front of me and would say: "Hey, little boy, now get your pans of and fuck me hard!" - hm hm, I guess I would run away!
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Postby Xenomorgue on Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:31 am

hardware wrote:If you want to be with a woman you really only need one thing, and that is confidence in yourself.


Really? So what about all these factors:

- attractive face
- a healthy body
- a normal BMI index
- a high-income job
- money in the bank
- ambitious
- charming
- stylish
- artistic
- eloquent
- outspoken
- friendly
- intelligent
- educated
- well-dressed
- well-mannered
- broad interests
- sporting
- sense of humour
- politically correct
- no addictions
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Postby hardware on Sun Apr 20, 2008 6:57 am

How much any of the traits you list matter varies from one woman to the next so I wouldn't spend any time worrying about it.

A confident man will have better prospects of getting that job, that raise and everything else he wants in life, and that's why it's the best thing a man can bring to a relationship with a woman.

PS - I don't know any women that date based on BMI indexing. That would be pretty funny if they did.
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Postby Euro on Sun Apr 20, 2008 6:28 pm

Xenomorgue wrote:
hardware wrote:If you want to be with a woman you really only need one thing, and that is confidence in yourself.


Really? So what about all these factors:

- attractive face
- a healthy body
- a normal BMI index
- a high-income job
- money in the bank
- ambitious
- charming
- stylish
- artistic
- eloquent
- outspoken
- friendly
- intelligent
- educated
- well-dressed
- well-mannered
- broad interests
- sporting
- sense of humour
- politically correct
- no addictions


Yes. I see it the same way like you. Girls want to much! On television you just see perfect guys, they are superstars, moviestars, models and rich. This is what the girls want. And whats with us? I mean, us - the normal and boring guys - us - the simple and shy guys? We aren´t cool - not all of us and I don´t even WANT to be cool or something "better". And this is what I talk about its just that 80 % of us guys are JUST NORMAl. The 20 % of the super-guys then go and make goals with models and other beautiful girls. And we need to search on sexboards to see a naked girl because in real life we can´t see it. And this is just because girls want to much! i mean, I´m friendly and nice. I like to do many things like producing music and reading a lot. But would ever come a hot girl close to me so I would have sex LIKE IN ALL THIS MOVIES HERE ON THE PORNSITES - ? No. No no in real life OR MAYBE JUST FOR GUYS like me girls give a shit. And this makes guys angry and then you still should be able to like girls and find them nice and ok? This is hard. Not easy. I try to be still friendly. But its hard. I hope I learn something from all of you guys. At the moment I´m a bit sad. Just saw about 20 videos of porn and now I see myself ALONE like always.
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